Early January 2003
Tonight I did something I had never done before. No, I didn’t kill a tourist nor robbed a gas station. I did something as American as killing a tourist or robbing 7-Eleven, I went to the South Florida State Fair. I can see the shocked looks on some of your faces. Well, I was kinda shocked myself.
You see, Florida has done wonders for me. I’ve been experiencing tons of things that I had never done before, like going to Golden Corral, Taco Bell, KFC, shopping at Wal-Mart, among other things. And now, I experienced the State Fair.
I am not sure how to describe it. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but some things just couldn’t go by un-noticed, unheard, undone…
The types you see at the fair were nothing like what I would expect. I thought that being in South Florida, the crowd that goes to the fair is a tad different. No, it is not… It’s probably the same crowd that goes to State Fairs all over the south… hicks.
I saw some types that I thought were only seen in Texas. Not quite… the hunting gear outfit, with the cammo jacket and hat, the belt buckle, the hat… I ain’t sayin’ Texans are hicks, but you know, it’s just common to see that in the Lone Star State. I guess it’s common in rural Florida as well.
I assume these folks drove from the western coast of the Sunshine State to West Palm Beach where the fair is located. It wasn’t too busy, since it’s only a chilly Tuesday nite. Chilly being around the mid 60s.
There were a lot of kids as well, ranging from little up to teenagers. Some were hicks some weren’t, some were just weird looking. Some looked like they could be dueling banjos in Deliverance. But anyway, the unexpected crowd I encountered were Jews, orthodox ones!!! Well, duh! I’m in South Florida, which is pretty much the same thing as being in Queens, Yonkers or Long Island. I just didn’t think I would come across kids in yarmulkes. Well I certainly did… quite the interesting, yet random mix of people… Orthodox Jews and Hicks. They don’t even go well not in the same sentence.
I walked around the fair, saw the rides, but I didn’t ride the rides. They were too damn scary. I was afraid I would end up on the Local News tonite, perhaps CNN later on, as being one of the survivors from a freak accident where the bumper cars caught on fire.
Or the Ferris Wheel got loose and circled around, like a coin, until it collapsed killing everybody, except me. Or maybe me too, who knows, depending on my luck. The rides that were scary on purpose, like the haunted house and stuff looked the sketchiest. I am sure Florida’s death row is loose in there and they actually kill people inside. Not just a simulation, there are actual slaughters going on in there. And only for 4 coupons.
Besides you had to pay to get on the rides! I thought that was a tad outrageous… gees they are not safe and they are vomit inducers too.
I don’t know if you guys have noticed the obscure character of the “carnies”, “roadies”, whatever the Fair workers are called. I think I heard it on The Simpsons that they are called carnies. Anyway, that episode where Homer and Bart become carnies and the carnies steal their house… I can so see some of those guys actually doing that.
Wait, I think they already did it once or twice. Some of them grab you verbally and they won’t let you go. They want you to play their damn game. They won’t stop harassing you until you come to their booth and play the game and of course lose the game.
I won a stuffed frog that holds a heart that says: “Kiss Me!” It’s cute…
There was a petting zoo too. Mixed in with the pettable animals, there was a zebra and a kangaroo. The “pettable” animals were kinda pointless, after all most of the folks there have those animals in their back yard! I don’t get to pet goats and sheep very often so it was…fun? Yeah, fun! Fun it was…
I think eating at the fair was the best part. The food is really good! I ate THREE corn dogs and so far no heartburn… I am such a fatass, but I couldn’t stop eating them.
While in line, I noticed a woman sitting. She seemed distressed, as she frantically wiped her hands down her shirt. I thought: “Give the woman some NAPKINS!” Her face was red, you know white-trash-sunburn-red, so I thought she had either been drinking or crying. Or she could have been mental, I’m not sure. So, I had to make a comment about her being a bit demented PWT (poor white trash).
I ended up sitting close to her, since there was a lack of seats away from the character. As I was chowing down my corn dogs, I heard the woman’s conversation for a while about her being on the road for the past 10 years, about her husband selling hunting gear (such a good deer season), about her health… she had to complain about her health. Apparently she is getting sick since it’s been cold down here and her trailer has no heat. Her nose was so stuffy and she had no tissue at the trailer so she used a dirty sock to blow her nose. Now I ponder… did I have to hear that while enjoying my second corn dog? I don’t mean to stereotype her, but gees, living in a trailer, no Kleenex, blowing nose on a dirty sock. Doesn’t it all go together? The nice lady abandoned us and went back to work. I hope she washed her hands…
After “dinner” I decided to check out the crafts and stuff. No more rides for me. The crafts and stuff were a show on its own. Some were very interesting, like the glass sculpture man. But others, like the yarn puppets and the Southwest motif t-shirts I don’t have words to describe it. Wait… I thought of a couple… damn ugly! Among the other goodies in the damn ugly category were Elvis themed lamps. So much fell in the damn ugly category… I can’t even list it all…
A puzzling character I noticed walking around the fair was a woman that looked like Queen Victoria, all in black, gray hair covered by a veil… I’m sure she was supposed to be somebody, but who? Maybe she is the fair’s version of Cinderella… who knows.
I called it a night when I figured it couldn’t get any better than that. Perhaps having to tip the bathroom attendant at a STATE FAIR was the deciding factor that it was time to go home… So I did…
Overall it was cool, an interesting cultural anthropological event. Next time I’ll go more prepared and with more money. The corn dogs were unforgettable…
Thursday, March 20, 2003
Well, I know I'm a day early, but I would like to wish everybody a Happy Valentine's Day.
Last year, I sent out the lyrics to "A Song for the Lonely" by Cher on Valentine's Day. I thought it was appropriate, but I got very little support on it, and my beautiful friends actually made fun of me. Yeah I know it was Cher, but oh well...
Just like last year, most of us are still flying solo, which is quite sad. Why can't we find a decent significant other? Gees, we are capable of finding the hos, the psychos, the weirdos, the pedophiles, the ones who just want to be friends, the hook ups, the monogamously coupled, among many others. Are all these freaks outnumbering us, the nice and decent people?
I've been thinking about Valentine's Day and being lonely... This will be another Valentine’s Day that I spend alone and single. Why is it that we can't be happy being single? I mean we can be happy, and we are happy, but at the same time we are not! We are always looking, directly or indirectly, for somebody. We see couples together and we go: "awww how... disgusting! I hope you two die in hell!" Ok maybe not that vicious, but something along those lines, wishing that we could have the same.
The truth is that no matter what, nobody likes to be lonely. I think some people are actually afraid of being single and make compromises in order not to be alone. In a sense that’s bad too, because you end up fooling yourself into thinking you like a person more than you actually do.
Love is such a confusing feeling, isn’t it? It messes with our heads and our hearts so much we don’t even realize it… It has a life of its own and you have no control of whom you like. One just might like the seductive cokehead from school, the sweet pothead guy from work, the gay bartender, the lipstick lesbian next door, the best friend, your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend, your ex, your roommate…and the list goes on…
Our mission for 2003 can either be: BE HAPPY no matter what, if you are single or not. Don’t be afraid of being single, it’s not so bad. Stop trying to desperately find love, especially in the wrong places. Don’t compromise or lower your standards too much for someone who might not even be worth it.
Our other choice is: Go get them! Make sure you look DAMN good this year. Make the best out of it. Don’t be afraid to date, get out there and look for that ONE person. If not the one, someone close to it, or someone to keep you company for the time being (whichever your frame of mind is). Do whatever it takes to get what you want!
One of my managers today was saying that the ONE might be under your nose and you just don’t realize it. Taking Carrie’s words in mind too, make sure to look around you... You might have a surprise there (that’s how she met her husband).
Those of you, monogamously coupled, I have nothing against you at all. I love you even more for being successful in this "crazy little thing called love" but I just can't understand how it’s done. Some pointers on how to find a mate will be more than welcome.
Last year, I sent out the lyrics to "A Song for the Lonely" by Cher on Valentine's Day. I thought it was appropriate, but I got very little support on it, and my beautiful friends actually made fun of me. Yeah I know it was Cher, but oh well...
Just like last year, most of us are still flying solo, which is quite sad. Why can't we find a decent significant other? Gees, we are capable of finding the hos, the psychos, the weirdos, the pedophiles, the ones who just want to be friends, the hook ups, the monogamously coupled, among many others. Are all these freaks outnumbering us, the nice and decent people?
I've been thinking about Valentine's Day and being lonely... This will be another Valentine’s Day that I spend alone and single. Why is it that we can't be happy being single? I mean we can be happy, and we are happy, but at the same time we are not! We are always looking, directly or indirectly, for somebody. We see couples together and we go: "awww how... disgusting! I hope you two die in hell!" Ok maybe not that vicious, but something along those lines, wishing that we could have the same.
The truth is that no matter what, nobody likes to be lonely. I think some people are actually afraid of being single and make compromises in order not to be alone. In a sense that’s bad too, because you end up fooling yourself into thinking you like a person more than you actually do.
Love is such a confusing feeling, isn’t it? It messes with our heads and our hearts so much we don’t even realize it… It has a life of its own and you have no control of whom you like. One just might like the seductive cokehead from school, the sweet pothead guy from work, the gay bartender, the lipstick lesbian next door, the best friend, your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend, your ex, your roommate…and the list goes on…
Our mission for 2003 can either be: BE HAPPY no matter what, if you are single or not. Don’t be afraid of being single, it’s not so bad. Stop trying to desperately find love, especially in the wrong places. Don’t compromise or lower your standards too much for someone who might not even be worth it.
Our other choice is: Go get them! Make sure you look DAMN good this year. Make the best out of it. Don’t be afraid to date, get out there and look for that ONE person. If not the one, someone close to it, or someone to keep you company for the time being (whichever your frame of mind is). Do whatever it takes to get what you want!
One of my managers today was saying that the ONE might be under your nose and you just don’t realize it. Taking Carrie’s words in mind too, make sure to look around you... You might have a surprise there (that’s how she met her husband).
Those of you, monogamously coupled, I have nothing against you at all. I love you even more for being successful in this "crazy little thing called love" but I just can't understand how it’s done. Some pointers on how to find a mate will be more than welcome.
People here in South Florida have so money it's not even funny. I honestly think the rich like to make you feel poor, or financially challenged as I like to call. How did they get so rich? Some people are old money, the good ol' Vanderbilts and Astors, who ruled New York society back in 1800s and 1900s. Some are brand new money, shiny pennies. They are usually have no taste since they grew up in the back roads of Alabama or some obscure state like Idaho praying to "Our Lady of the Trailer Park" or something like that. But you know what, we must admire them no matter what. They went from rags to riches and now they live in South Florida and drive a nice Mercedes or even a Bentley.
How did they get their wake up call? Like, who knocked on their door and said: wake up, get a decent job, save money and get the hell out of this trailer park! I want to get this wake up call... Actually I think I am getting it as we speak, right now I can feel it. No, seriously, I am. Moving down to South Florida is waking me up: "Dude! Grow up!!!! Get a real job, pay your bills, DEBT IS NOT GOING AWAY!!!"
Get a real job, whatever that is... What is a "real" job? Sitting in an office, pushing paper... that's a real job. Working at a bank? Another "real" job. What about garbage man? Isn't that a real job too? Seriously, it's probably full time with benefits... but why is it that we don't see it as a "real" job? I work in retail, would you consider that a "real" job? Probably not... well you know what, I'm going to start considering everything a real job. So ok, my job isn't full time and I don't have benefits, so what? It's real, it's there, it pays, and it's a job! I'm not pushing paper, I'm pushing clothes to women who are CLUELESS to how much money they have. There, my job is REAL!
I just wish I made more money in my "real" job. It's quite upsetting to think that we are all slaves, slaves to MONEY. We live for it 'cause we certainly can't live without it. Some people are bigger slaves to "it" some people are ok with being slightly financially challenged. Lemme tell you guys, I HATE being financially challenged. The choices I made in the past that led to this, but like the title says: "Going broke was never this much fun!"
Who is the idiot that said that money doesn't bring happiness? It brought me so much joy, it's not even funny. I am making myself sound like a capitalist pig, maybe I am, so shoot me.
It's true though, money can buy things and just like endorphines, it makes you happy! You can do so much with a money, good constructive things, like buying clothes and eating out! How fun is that? How about travelling? Oooo, how about drinking with your buddies? Or how about buying a new cell phone? How about paying the cell phone bill? Buying presents for all your beautiful friends? That's the best thing! The possibilities are overwhelming... My brain is fried just thinking about it. After buying all that, the sense of accomplishment is amazing. Most of the time, a shopaholic won't even realize that he/she bought all that. Better yet, they don't even realize, at the end of the month when the credit card bill comes, that they bought so much! It's crazy... I think it's not our fault, the credit card companies use our cards to buy their groceries or something crazy like that. Once I've heard that credit cards are your best friends. They certainly weren't my friends otherwise they wouldn't be stabbing me in the back right now with all those interest rates. Friends don't do that to each other, friends forgive and forget.
Yes, the cards are out to get me but oh well, such is life, and I've got to pay for all those beautiful things I bought right? We live and we learn, if we don't, we'll go on making the same mistakes. According to my stepmom, that's when you fall under the "idiot" category and keep making the same mistakes all throughout life. Bottom line is: Learn from your mistakes!
How did they get their wake up call? Like, who knocked on their door and said: wake up, get a decent job, save money and get the hell out of this trailer park! I want to get this wake up call... Actually I think I am getting it as we speak, right now I can feel it. No, seriously, I am. Moving down to South Florida is waking me up: "Dude! Grow up!!!! Get a real job, pay your bills, DEBT IS NOT GOING AWAY!!!"
Get a real job, whatever that is... What is a "real" job? Sitting in an office, pushing paper... that's a real job. Working at a bank? Another "real" job. What about garbage man? Isn't that a real job too? Seriously, it's probably full time with benefits... but why is it that we don't see it as a "real" job? I work in retail, would you consider that a "real" job? Probably not... well you know what, I'm going to start considering everything a real job. So ok, my job isn't full time and I don't have benefits, so what? It's real, it's there, it pays, and it's a job! I'm not pushing paper, I'm pushing clothes to women who are CLUELESS to how much money they have. There, my job is REAL!
I just wish I made more money in my "real" job. It's quite upsetting to think that we are all slaves, slaves to MONEY. We live for it 'cause we certainly can't live without it. Some people are bigger slaves to "it" some people are ok with being slightly financially challenged. Lemme tell you guys, I HATE being financially challenged. The choices I made in the past that led to this, but like the title says: "Going broke was never this much fun!"
Who is the idiot that said that money doesn't bring happiness? It brought me so much joy, it's not even funny. I am making myself sound like a capitalist pig, maybe I am, so shoot me.
It's true though, money can buy things and just like endorphines, it makes you happy! You can do so much with a money, good constructive things, like buying clothes and eating out! How fun is that? How about travelling? Oooo, how about drinking with your buddies? Or how about buying a new cell phone? How about paying the cell phone bill? Buying presents for all your beautiful friends? That's the best thing! The possibilities are overwhelming... My brain is fried just thinking about it. After buying all that, the sense of accomplishment is amazing. Most of the time, a shopaholic won't even realize that he/she bought all that. Better yet, they don't even realize, at the end of the month when the credit card bill comes, that they bought so much! It's crazy... I think it's not our fault, the credit card companies use our cards to buy their groceries or something crazy like that. Once I've heard that credit cards are your best friends. They certainly weren't my friends otherwise they wouldn't be stabbing me in the back right now with all those interest rates. Friends don't do that to each other, friends forgive and forget.
Yes, the cards are out to get me but oh well, such is life, and I've got to pay for all those beautiful things I bought right? We live and we learn, if we don't, we'll go on making the same mistakes. According to my stepmom, that's when you fall under the "idiot" category and keep making the same mistakes all throughout life. Bottom line is: Learn from your mistakes!